60 Years of Marriage 

Liz Loadholt

In the summer of 1963, the two of us were sitting on the front porch of my parent’s home in Brighton, SC – Boyd told me that he had decided to return to Clemson for his Master's degree and would be leaving in a few days. I was devastated.  We had only been dating for 6 months, but I knew he was the one for me.

As we talked, I told him, You cannot leave me here – let’s get married.

He agreed, and we were married on August 6, 1963. It was not a big fancy wedding – just really the minister and the two of us —  

This began our 60-year journey. We moved to an efficient apartment on Strawberry Lane in Clemson –  Boyd entered graduate school to earn his Master's in Mathematics, and I got a job teaching at Liberty High School in Liberty, SC.

There have been so many great times in our marriage – too many to go into here– some highlights of those great times were:

1. The day that Boyd graduated from Virginia Tech with his Doctorate in Statistics - I was so proud.
2. The days that our two children were born. 
3. The days that our children graduated from college.
4. The days that our grandchildren were born.
5. The day that we got the call from the President of Coldwell Banker Affiliates inviting us to go to the Olympics in California — Coldwell Banker had four tickets from Sports Illustrated for four to attend the Olympics as guests of Sports Illustrated. Two for the Corporate Coldwell Banker and two for Coldwell Banker Affiliates, and we were given those for the Coldwell Banker Affiliates.
6. The day at a Coldwell Banker Affiliates convention, when Boyd & I were called up on the stage and recognized in front of about three thousand folks – the same day that Wayne Dyer was the guest speaker - yes, we met Wayne Dyer.
7. The day that we opened AgentOwned Realty

I could go on and on — there were so many special days for us. We were and are very fortunate.

We have had a few tragic things in our marriage, also.

I am often asked what is the secret to a 60-year marriage.  Is there a magic formula?

Did we ever disagree?  Of course, we did – many times.  There were days when he would be so angry with me and days when I would be so angry with him.  However, we never went to bed angry – we worked things out and were happy with each other.

I was told, to have a successful marriage, you never go to bed angry with each other.

If there is a magic formula, this is probably it – never go to bed angry with each other.

There were many times when we were distraught with each other – it would have been so easy to say – “I’m done” - what is the point? After all, we truly loved each other and wanted our marriage to work. We were not looking for a reason to jump ship.

In our 60 years, we had two children (Liza and Claude) and have three grandchildren (Wilson, Owen & Eliza) Having watched them grow into mature, successful adults has been a highlight of our marriage.

There have been some very stressful times in our marriage, also.  

While Boyd was working on his Ph.D. in statistics in Blacksburg, Virginia, I was a stay-at-home Mom — we had no money and a new baby (Liza) – I typed a statistical textbook to make money while at home. There were many disagreements on raising the baby – she was a terrible eater —

When Liza was 6 months old, it was discovered that she had Kwashiorkor- she almost died, but the University of Virginia doctors saved her. During the time she was in the hospital, they would allow only one parent to stay with her – you talk about stress–Boyd quite often felt that I wasn’t doing enough – he felt this way because I was the one with her 24 hours a day & he was only allowed certain hours – we were both just so scared.  We got through that one, and she survived.

Another very stressful time in our marriage was when I entered the real estate world.

Boyd was a successful professor of Statistics (PhD.) at MUSC, and I was a stay-at-home mom until the children were off to school. Then I got my real estate license in 1976.

This real estate bit was really stressful on our marriage the first year– because I fell in love with it and wanted to be doing it all the time.  Is supper ready at 6????? What??? If I had a listing appointment, supper would have to wait. So due to the late suppers and the obsession with real estate, Boyd was not a happy camper – So, again, we had to work this out – I wanted to sell real estate, and he wanted me to be happy,  and  I wanted to be with Boyd and him to be happy.  The solution, Boyd got his real estate license.  

I say this only to let you know that this was a difficult time in our marriage – I could have easily said that I wanted the real estate life and we could go our separate ways — NO, NO –NO – we loved each other and wanted to work this out so we would both be happy.  And we did.

Another very stressful time in our marriage was losing our daughter, Liza when she was 52 – (breast cancer)---I just felt that I should have done more – I should have been able to fix her problem, and I couldn’t - somehow we got through this.

So many young folks give up too easily and too quickly. If you didn’t love your husband, why did you marry him? If you love your husband, then you work on your issues to reach an agreement that works for both of you.

Another stressful time for us was the Opening of the AgentOwned Realty Co.  – of course, Boyd had his brilliant ideas, and I had my ideas – they did not always mesh. What did we do?  We came to decisions that worked for both of us.Other stressful times:

1. I was diagnosed with breast cancer.
2. Boyd was diagnosed with prostate cancer.
3. I had heart issues

I could go on and on about the different stressful times in our marriage. I will say that the great times are easier to remember.

So, to say 60 years of marriage was a simple love affair would not be accurate.  However, true love comes through when you go through difficult times. The dedication to work things out must be a part of your marriage.  I will say I love Boyd more today than I did 60 years ago. The stressful times in our marriage made us stronger and our marriage stronger.

When a couple marries, they form a team, and they must work together like a team.

Magic formula = never go to bed angry with each other.